


On This Dark Night, I See You

by actuallyronanlynch



Series: I Kinda Wanna Be More Than Friends [3]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Halloween, M/M, POV Ronan Lynch, Pining, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:34:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27615622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actuallyronanlynch/pseuds/actuallyronanlynch
Summary: It was just a crush.It was just a crush, but Ronan couldn’t get Adam out of his head.(AKA the Gangsey goes to a Halloween party and Ronan pineshardfor Adam).
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Series: I Kinda Wanna Be More Than Friends [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1770634
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	On This Dark Night, I See You

**Author's Note:**

> I very much meant to post this on Halloween, but real life happened, and, well, here we are.  
> Timeline-wise, this is set before the two other works currently in this series, during October of the Gangsey's freshman year of college. Hope y'all enjoy!

Ronan wasn't a fan of Halloween, per se, but he did like having a socially acceptable reason to get drunk.

It wasn't that he particularly disliked Halloween; as a kid, he'd loved the fact that his family had two occasions to celebrate back to back. He and his brothers would dress up in their costumes and their parents would drive them into town to trick-or-treat, and they'd return to the Barns to drink apple cider while their father read them ghost stories by the fireplace in the den. The following morning, he would wake up to the French toast his mother always made for his birthday, but he quickly stopped enjoying his birthday when he didn't have a family to spend it with anymore.

Regardless of his personal feelings about the holiday, he allowed Gansey to cajole him into going to a house party that Henry Cheng had invited them all to. It was hosted by a group of sophomores Ronan didn't know (and didn't care to), but Gansey had promised to obtain a six pack for Ronan to drink at the party as well as a six pack to keep in his dorm to drink at his leisure, so Ronan agreed to go with little complaint.

The party was dark, loud and incredibly crowded, but Ronan was two beers in and wasn't as annoyed by it as he would have been if he was entirely sober. He lingered at the edge of the living room, leaning back against a wall and nursing his half-empty drink. He was the only person in their friend group that hadn't really put any effort into a costume, but he still thought he blended in with the other college students well enough.

Gansey and Henry were dressed as Caesar and Brutus, respectively, though Gansey's toga had a blood-coloured paint splatter courtesy of Blue, and Henry was carrying around a foam knife they'd found at a consignment shop downtown. Noah was wearing cat ears, a tail and a striped tee, and was going around telling people that he was the Cheshire Cat. Blue had probably put the most effort into her costume; a dryad complete with a flower crown made of maple leaves and baby's-breath and intricate face paint framing her features. Ronan himself was dressed in his usual jeans, leather jacket and boots, and was telling people that he was dressed as a Hells Angel. The people who already knew him were less than impressed, but the people who didn't seemed to accept his explanation without complaint. They might've just been too drunk to really give a shit; Ronan didn't know or particularly care.

The living room was full to the brim with college students grinding against one another to dark, heavy rap music, though Ronan couldn't spot any of his friends among the crowd. Noah had been the last one Ronan had seen, but he'd run off to try to find Blue and hadn't returned. Ronan didn't mind being alone, but he was a little annoyed that Gansey had insisted he come along only to abandon him within the first hour of the party. Ronan wouldn't admit that out loud, though.

"Lynch," a voice said, loud enough to be heard over the music. Ronan turned to find Adam Parrish leaning against the wall beside him with a red solo cup in hand, ethereal in the strange glow of the black lights. He was dressed similarly to Blue in shades of greens and browns, a thin crown of leaves and flowers that she must've made for him perched atop his head. His cheekbones shimmered with pale glitter, somehow making them even more prominent than usual. He looked gorgeous, and Ronan _ached_.

"Parrish," Ronan replied. "Your girlfriend make your crown for you?"

Adam reached up unconsciously to touch the aforementioned adornment. "Blue? Yeah, she made mine when she was making hers."

"It's nice," Ronan said, swallowing the rest of his beer to quell the unpleasant feeling rising in his stomach. Ronan didn't even really know if Blue and Adam _were_ boyfriend-and-girlfriend, but Adam hadn't corrected him on it. They'd only been seeing each other for two or three weeks as far as Ronan knew.

"Thanks," Adam said, the ghost of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "Hey," he added, extending the solo cup towards Ronan. "Do you want this? One of Henry's friends gave it to me before I could say no."

"What is it?" Ronan asked, though he was already taking the cup from Adam's hand.

"Beats me," Adam said with a shrug. "All I know is there's alcohol in it."

Ronan took a tentative sip and grimaced at the taste of the concoction. "I think it's tequila and grape juice."

“Oh, that sounds great,” Adam said sarcastically. 

Ronan bit back a smile as he took another drink from the solo cup. “It’s not good, but I’ve had worse.”

They lapsed into a comfortable silence, standing side-by-side against the wall. Ronan was hyper-aware of how close they were to one another; if he moved his hand a few inches to the left, he’d be able to brush his fingers against Adam’s.

Sometimes he hated how hard it was to stop _staring_ at Adam. Since the first moment he’d seen Adam, it was a constant battle to resist the urge to study him when he thought he could get away with it. It had been at a floor meeting the night they’d moved into residence; Gansey had insisted Ronan come along despite the fact that he’d rather do anything else, and there had been Adam Parrish, a sepia photograph in the washed-out colours of their common room.

It was just a crush.

It was just a crush, but Ronan couldn’t get Adam out of his head.

Ronan glanced up as he heard shouting across the room and rolled his eyes as he realised it was Noah and Blue trying to get his and Adam’s attention. They were waving for them to join them among the writhing group of college students, and Ronan turned to warily look at Adam.

Adam simply shrugged and folded his arms across his chest. “Should we join them?” he asked.

“I don’t think I’m drunk enough for that,” Ronan said.

“Fair enough,” Adam said with another shrug, sounding… oddly disappointed. “I’ll catch you around, then?”

Ronan nodded, taking a long drink as he watched Adam merge into the crowd. He hated himself for how hard it was to look away from Adam’s retreating form. He was with Blue, for fuck’s sake; what right did Ronan have to look at him like that?

Ronan downed the rest of the tequila-grape juice mixture before stalking off towards the kitchen, chucking his empty beer can and solo cup into a garbage bag before beginning his search for a new drink.

“Lynch!” someone said, clapping Ronan hard on the shoulder. Ronan turned his head to glare at them, but his expression lightened slightly as he realised it was Henry with Gansey standing at his side. Gansey’s cheeks were flushed a rosy pink and Henry’s hair was even wilder than usual; they made quite a pair in their state.

“Ronan, we’ve been looking everywhere for you,” Gansey said, in good spirits but visibly unsteady on his feet.

“I was in the living room,” Ronan said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder before continuing to dig through the assortment of bottles scattered across the countertop. “Parrish, Czerny and Sargent are in there dancing or whatever.”

“We should join them!” Henry said. It appeared that he had lost his knife at some point during the last hour, because he was no longer wielding it like his life depended on it.

“Not drunk enough for that,” Ronan said, clipped, and haphazardly poured himself two shots of whiskey before knocking them back in succession. 

Gansey frowned and slid the bottle of whiskey along the counter until it was out of Ronan’s reach. “That is not a good attitude to have, Ronan.”

Ronan ignored Gansey in favour of continuing his search for more alcohol. “Henry, you ever shotgun a beer?” he asked, smirking at the way Henry perked up at being addressed.

“No,” Henry said, drawing closer as Ronan extracted two beers from the fridge. “What does one do to shotgun a beer?”

Ronan pulled his car keys from the pocket of his jeans and punctured a hole in the side of the can before passing it to Henry. “Put the hole to your mouth, crack the tab and chug.” Ronan made a hole in the second can before pocketing his keys and putting the drink to his lips, popping the tab and swallowing the liquid that poured into his mouth. Henry did the same, albeit with less ease, and Ronan watched as some of the beer spilled down his chin and neck in the process. He looked pleased with himself when he was finished, though, so Ronan didn’t give him shit for it.

“Jesus,” Gansey said, looking between the two of them judgmentally. “Are you good now?”

Ronan took a moment to assess his level of intoxication before nodding. “Yeah, whatever.”

He trailed after Gansey and Henry as they made their way from the kitchen to the living room, the grungy music immediately enveloping him again. He spotted their group easily; Noah and Blue were dancing in earnest, and even Adam was swaying along to the beat of the song. Ronan’s stomach twisted in a way he wasn’t sure he liked, and he exhaled slowly through his nose before moving to stand next to Noah.

“You’re back!” Noah said cheerily, latching onto Ronan’s arm without pausing his movements.

Ronan frowned as he was jostled, extracting himself from Noah’s grasp before he replied. “I’m back,” he confirmed with far less enthusiasm.

“This music is awfully… interesting,” Gansey said, which Ronan thought was directed at Blue.

“You make it sound like you don’t like it,” she replied, quirking an eyebrow.

“It’s definitely far from what I usually listen to,” Gansey admitted, awkwardly swaying along to the music. It was almost painful for Ronan to watch.

“An understatement, Richardman,” Henry said. He actually seemed to know how to dance, at least a little, which didn’t really surprise Ronan. “This music and your music might as well be from different planets.”

Noah laughed delightedly and grabbed Gansey by the arm. “God, it’s just too funny picturing you listening to this music, Gans, I’m sorry.”

“Hysterical,” Gansey deadpanned, but there was still amusement in his eyes.

Ronan furtively stepped to the side as Noah and Blue tried to coerce Gansey into dancing sincerely; he ended up next to Adam, and had to use all his willpower not to resume his awful habit of staring.

“Change of heart, Lynch?” Adam asked, leaning in to be heard over the music. Ronan’s heart rate kicked up a notch. “I thought you didn’t dance.”

Ronan finally allowed himself to glance over at Adam; he was stunning as ever in the dim lighting, the slow movement of his hips fluid like wind rippling through a copse of trees. He wondered what Adam’s body would feel like against his, their hips rolling in time to the music.

Ronan’s head suddenly felt very fuzzy. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat.

“I don’t dance,” he said, though what he was doing was arguably considered dancing.

“I thought you didn’t lie,” Adam countered.

Replying felt like a dangerous thing, so Ronan kept his mouth shut and pushed down the urge to flee. His brain was sluggish with alcohol and his thoughts kept spiralling out of control. All he could think was _Adam, Adam, Adam_ , the bass of the music reverberating in his chest like a second pulse.

Blue must have noticed his discomfort and took pity on him, because he was suddenly being pulled forward by the wrist until he was standing nearly chest-to-chest with her. “You okay?” she asked, keeping a light grip on his wrists to coax him into dancing along her with.

He huffed out an exasperated laugh, overly aware of Adam standing a few feet to their left. “I’m peachy, Sarg.” Even as he said it, it felt like a lie; the way she frowned at him made it clear that she knew it was a lie, as well.

“You seem a little out of it,” she said, rubbing her thumb along the inside of his wrist. He resisted the urge to pull away from the touch.

“I’m fine,” he said, desperately trying to find anywhere else to look. He settled for watching Noah and Henry’s attempts at trying to teach Gansey to dance, though they were all a little too drunk to be coordinated enough. “I think I’m gonna go get some air.”

Blue nodded and let go of his wrists, and he ignored her concerned expression as he wove his way through the crowd towards the front door.

The cool October air was sobering as Ronan stepped out onto the front porch, but his head still spun a little as he hunkered down on the steps and rested his elbows on his knees. Maybe coming to the party had been a mistake. He hadn’t wanted to disappoint Gansey by refusing to go, but he could’ve as easily gotten drunk alone in his dorm room and avoided the awkward push-and-pull of his attraction to Adam.

What was _wrong_ with him? Why couldn’t he just pull himself together? It was pathetic. He was acting like a middle schooler, he was acting like a lovesick puppy—

“Hey. You doing all right?”

Ronan tipped his head back to watch as Adam stepped out onto the porch, barely able to hold back a bark of laughter. It seemed like no matter where he went, he wasn’t able to get away from Parrish.

“Did Sargent send you to check on me?” he asked instead of answering the question.

“No. I just needed a breather,” Adam said, leaning against the porch railing. 

“There’s a lot of people in there,” Ronan muttered, tugging at the leather bands around his wrist.

Adam hummed in agreement, carefully making his way towards Ronan and sitting down next to him on the steps. “I don’t know why Gansey goes to these types of things.”

“Right?” Ronan said, shaking his head in disbelief. “He’s always been like this. He used to go to crew parties in high school even though he secretly hated them. He has this weird complex about keeping up appearances.”

“I get it,” Adam said, picking absently at a hangnail on his thumb. “At least, I think I do. Social connections are important.”

Ronan shrugged, kicking the heel of his boot against the base of the stairs. “I wouldn’t know,” he said, grinning ruefully. “I’m kind of a social reject.”

“Under-exaggeration,” Adam teased, and Ronan knocked their shoulders together in retaliation.

“Really, though, man,” Ronan said. “Making social connections has never been my forte. I almost dropped out of fucking high school, partially because I couldn’t stand being around those cocksuckers every day.”

“Which cocksuckers, exactly?” Adam asked, and Ronan ignored the little thrill he got from hearing Adam swear.

Ronan made a vague hand gesture, struggling to articulate himself. “My classmates. They were all just so _pretentious._ Trust fund babies planning to major in business or pre-law or some other bullshit and get jobs straight out of college because their daddies had connections. It was just so performative.”

Adam looked at him pensively for a moment before cracking a small smile. “ _You’re_ a trust fund baby, you know.”

“Yeah, but I’m not pretentious.” Ronan watched Adam look him up and down appraisingly before he nodded in agreement. “And I had to fight tooth and nail to major in art.”

“Your parents don’t approve of you taking art?” Adam asked hesitantly.

“Something like that,” Ronan muttered, looking down at his boots.

They lapsed into a semi-awkward silence, the muffled sounds of the party inside the only noise surrounding them. Adam pulled his phone from his pocket and broke the silence by humming softly to himself.

“It’s after midnight,” he said, turning to look at Ronan. “Happy birthday, Lynch.”

“Did Gansey tell you?” Ronan asked. He knew he’d never mentioned it to anyone, let alone Adam.

“He’s been talking to everyone on our floor about it all week,” Adam said, laughing breathily. 

Ronan turned his face to the side so Adam wouldn’t catch the smile playing at his lips. “Well. Thanks for the birthday wishes, Parrish.”

“Any big plans now that you’re nineteen?” Adam asked, leaning back with his hands flat against the porch.

“Mm,” Ronan hummed, scuffing the heel of his boot against the concrete walkway. “I think that’s something I’ll have to consider when I’m sober.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden exclamation from one Dick Gansey as he stumbled out onto the porch, crouching down so he could pull Ronan into an uncomfortable hug from behind. “Happy birthday, Lynch," he said, far too earnestly for Ronan's taste. "You keep wandering off.”

“Did the maggot tell you I was out here?” Ronan asked, patting Gansey’s arm comfortingly before he pulled back. Whatever pleasant stillness had settled between him and Adam was effectively shattered by Gansey’s appearance, but Ronan couldn’t bring himself to be annoyed.

“She did,” Gansey said, and paused to hiccup quietly. “Are you going to come back inside?”

Ronan risked a glance at Adam; he was watching their exchange with a complicated expression on his face, something Ronan couldn’t parse out when he was this drunk. “I think I’m gonna head back to campus,” he said. “You coming with, Parrish?”

“Sure,” Adam said, standing and brushing his hands off on his chinos. “The rest of y’all will get back all right?”

“I’m sure we’ll manage just fine,” Gansey said, pushing himself to his feet and grabbing the porch banister for support. “I’m sure this doesn’t help my case.”

“Sargent’s still pretty sober,” Ronan said to Adam, ushering Gansey in the direction of the door. “I’ll see you back at res, Gans.”

Gansey paused before he stepped over the threshold, looking deadly serious as he placed a single hand on Ronan’s shoulder. “Happy birthday, Lynch. I will see you when we get back from the party.”

Ronan smiled despite himself and gave Gansey a gentle push, waiting until he’d stumbled back inside before pulling the door shut and turning back to Adam. “Let’s go.”

They were silent as they walked back to campus, but it was easy and relaxed in a way Ronan couldn’t achieve with most people. That was one of the things he liked about Adam; he didn’t feel the need to fill the empty space between them with small talk. If he had something to say, he would say it, but if he didn’t, he wouldn't force unnecessary conversation.

The walk back to campus was only about fifteen minutes, and towards the end Ronan grumbled under his breath about the cold to make Adam laugh and snark something back in response. Adam held the door to their residence building open for him when they arrived and he hurriedly stepped inside, unlocking the second door with his set of keys and heading up the stairs to their floor.

“You’re okay to head back to your room alone?” Adam asked as they ascended. Ronan scoffed and rolled his eyes.

“I’m not blackout drunk, Parrish,” he said. “Yes, I’ll be okay. This isn’t my first rodeo.”

They passed Ronan’s room first since it was closer to the stairs, and Adam paused briefly as Ronan hastily jammed his keys into the lock. “If you need anything you know where I’ll be,” Adam said. “Maybe text first, though, since Fletcher’s probably asleep.”

Ronan grunted in confirmation and shouldered his door open, turning back to look at Adam once he’d taken a step inside. “Same to you, Parrish.”

Adam laughed lightly, the breathy number that did bizarre things to Ronan’s insides. “I’m sure I’ll be just fine. Happy birthday, Lynch. Try to get some sleep.”

Ronan watched Adam head down the hall to his own room before he let his door shut behind him, and he haphazardly kicked off his boots before falling face-first into bed. He buried his face against his pillow, trying to convince himself that his stuttering pulse was a result of being out of shape and climbing the stairs instead of taking the elevator.

Adam Parrish was going to _ruin_ him, at this rate, and Ronan had never had enough self preservation to steer clear of the dangerously enticing.

**Author's Note:**

> I've noticed I have A Thing for writing soft scenes between Adam and Ronan on Ronan's birthday in college AUs. I'm starting to think that maybe I have a type 🤔  
> Also, in high school, when my friends and I used to steal alcohol from our parents because we couldn't buy any ourselves, I definitely had grape juice mixed with tequila. It was fucking gross, 0/10 do not recommend.  
> As always, comments and kudos make my day <3 Love y'all.


End file.
